So here’s the deal – Mother Teresa’s Advice for Jilted Lovers is only 3 bones whether you’re using greenbacks or loonies. What other author is that thoughtful toward Canadian buyers with our piss-poor exchange rate, eh? No other author, that’s who.
If you’ve already got an Amazon account, I hope that buying my debut novel will be a no-brainer. But in case you need some convincing, here are a few of the many a splendored things your 3 bucks will get you:
A novel that defies genres.
It’s laugh-out-loud funny but also has some harsh social commentary about challenging women’s issues; it’s got murder… lots of murders, but no gore; there’s suspense and romance and some new age woo-woo. Honestly, it’s a dog’s breakfast of a blended genre novel. A delicious, bacon-wrapped, dog’s breakfast.
An important role in launching an ‘old’ woman’s new career.
Three weeks after my novel is published, I. Turn. Fifty!
Here’s my dream: MTAfJL sells enough pre-order copies to launch on January 6th, 2016 as a best seller in at least one category so that I can say, for the rest of my life, that I am an Amazon Best-selling Author.
Now, I’m not going to say it at parties, or when I accidentally-on-purpose bump my shopping cart into strangers at the grocery store (“Pardon me. I was distracted thinking about my Amazon best-selling author status.”), but I would love to use that little credibility-booster in my marketing material to help sell more books because I grew up seeing ads for Freedom 55, and I just found out that those ads weren’t a promise. What the? They were a sales pitch to invest in retirement savings. Seriously. Did you know this?
All this means that unless I find a nice passive source of recurring income, like, right now, I’ll be lucky if I find Freedom 85. So if you buy my novel, you’ll help ensure that I’m not sharing the cat’s breakfast when I’m really old, because no matter how much bacon you put in a bowl of Friskies chicken paté — it is not delicious.
A sneaky advanced copy of the novel so you don’t have to wait until January to read it.
If you pre-order Mother Teresa’s Advice for Jilted Lovers you won’t get the actual e-book from Amazon until January 6th (you also don’t get charged until that day, so you know).
Now, do you want to wait for something that’s got you interested enough to make the effort to click the ‘Buy Now‘ button? No. Of course you don’t. Nobody likes to wait.
So, after you buy the book, if you go to AdviceForJiltedLovers.com and enter your name and email address in the annoying, pop-up, sign-up box I will personally send you an Advanced Reader’s Copy so you can start reading right away.
I do send the emails myself, so you may have to wait a few hours, but not days, weeks, or months. I’m faster than Canada Post but not as quick as the damned budgie that swoops in to steal my bacon when I take my eyes off my breakfast to have a sip of coffee.
My love and gratitude and maybe a special gift.
Whether I know you or not, I’ll send you warm and fuzzies. I’ll include your nameless, faceless loveliness in my gratitude journal. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.
Then, if you tell two friends, or your whole book club, I’ll send you something special…. If your book club decides to read the novel, I’ll send you something super special. I’ll have to consult with my book club pals to know what’s appropriate and easy to mail. I know wine would suitable for 90% of “book” clubs, but it’s a bugger to ship.
How about… I’ll attend your book club and answer all your questions about the story, what inspired me to write it, how my husband manages to survive from one day to the next when his wife is obviously a closet psychopath… never mind. I’ll figure out a way to mail wine.
So, click the picture of the novel and buy the book!
Please. Thank you. And sorry for the hard sell.